Normally I create a draft and type my thoughts into it as I read. When Im done I go through and create a review from said thoughts. In this case, Im going to leave this here, as proof of what I was thinking when I got to certain parts in the book. Im going to just create a new review to put into Goodreads and Amazon.
The italics are me commenting on my thoughts as I read back through it after having finished the book.
So if you really wanna know why I hated this book so much and all of its flaws, look no further:
The beginning sure was odd. I dont think it did a good job of us liking Yuri. In my opinion I think most people dont like the "super strong powerful" type of character. Within the first 2 chapters or so he already explains how he can basically beat anyone. Going so far as to describe that after a couple of months of getting his ass kicked he could beat up 30 bullies (assumedly in one encounter as its described). This is extremely unbelievable and cries of cringey gary stu writing. If he'd atleast describe that he TRAINED with someone great or something it might be more interesting.
***this is reserved for if he gets in a fight and loses from an actual trained member***
(Spoiler this does not happen, he just stays amazing the whole time. The only time he 'loses' is when he fights someone that magically has more power than him, so it doesnt count. He has to level up, like a Super Saiyen, THEN he kicks their ass.)
What makes him more unlikable was his strange decision to FIGHT AND WIN money but then deny it because its an advantage other poor people dont have, but he JUST told us his poor upbringing caused him to learn to fight. So he earned this, and then just doesnt give the money to his family, then gets mad that his mom is rightfully furious. It would have atleast made sense if he lied to his mom about it at first, and she found out later from talk around town THEN she yelled at him and shit. Man I wanted to slap him too. Its just...not a great start to like this character.
**save this for later character development**
(Spoiler, his family basically still remains unimportant and pointless the rest of the story.)
The Dinner scene was the next blatant form of Gary Stu character development. Its not bad to be modest, but if someone creates an opening like: "I heard So and So gave you a generous reward." True modesty would just be him replying "Why yes, he was quite generous with his offer."
(Think Will Turner in the beginning of Pirates of the Caribbean, when the Governer compliments the sword and thinks its Will's master. Did you correct him? No, because THAT is modesty.)
It was awkward that he continued by saying that he didn't accept it so we then got the 'everyone was shocked' reaction. This wouldn't be that bad if not just two paragraphs later he goes on to explain that he was bullied as a kid, but then got so strong he beat up the bully but didnt want to exact his revenge, he just wanted to be friends, and oh look, now they are. Sorry but this was super cringey and had me rolling my eyes.
Not to mention the King and Queen were eating this up and EVEN suggested their daughter marry this desolute commoner? Im sorry but if these people are so rich, but care so little for social dynamics then their guards *cough cough Senna* wouldnt be so petty to them and they probably wouldn't have such a huge level of poverty.
(Spoiler, the parents are completely irrelevant, inconsequential and useless. They do nothing for their kingdom and in the end just kinda give up and give it to Yuri and Violet. Huge case of bad adult/parent development here.)
This chapter gets infinitely more hard to swallow as Yuri goes to find a map to the tunnels, and not one but TWO people catch him ripping the pages out. There's already 2 annoying things I found about this event:
1. The princess knows...THE FRICKEN PRINCESS. She should easily have the power to investigate, but no shes just gonna keep blushing and let her new amazing boyfriend go find a werewolf (im pretty sure shes a werewolf anyway considering the cover has a wolf with purple eyes, and she has purple eyes)
(Spoiler: her eye color is literally never relevant. Even though it makes it seem like purple eyes are a form of power, or darkness or something, it means nothing in terms of Violet. She literally such a useless character just here to be the love interest)
2. I dont remember if it said Beo opened the book before he took it, but if he did why would he then open it AGAIN after he went back for it? That just seems...unnecessary.
3. (ha you thought I only had 2, I did at first) Why did Beo wait until NOW to get rid of a book that reveals his secret? If he knew about it, why the hell didnt he get rid of it sooner? B/c the the author couldn't think of a better way for the protagonist to find his way to the catacombs/ the antagonist to know Yuri was on to him??
This is only 64 pages into a 400 page book and Im already worried about how this will develop and honestly HOW it could develop.
(Spoilers, I never bring this up later. But Beo almost seems important? Or atleast his family? But its Never touched on. Why his family is guarding the werewolf? Why he has such a strong powerful sword? None of it, by the end his family is completely dropped.)
This book honestly wont give me a break. Ive moved on to page 83 and Im ready to give up. Not only does the whole idea that this is a 400 page book and the werewolf ALREADY escaped (like wth is the rest of this book going to be about? I thought this would be closer to the climax) with everyone apparently changing instantly like this is a zombie movie. I dont think this would be so annoying if the description of the book didnt seem like the Werewolf would be trapped under the town for most of the novel.
"To protect his people, Yuri, a boy from the slums, must slay this beast before it causes destruction to all he holds dear."
Uuuhm, well your patron/ best friends dads already dead and so is your mother and brother, so I think you failed. It should have just described that the Wolf gets out and destroys his town so now he has to go on a journey to fix it.
Im sorry if this isnt a big deal to some but the description changes how you feel/ think going into a book. If what I expect to happen at the end of 400 page book happens in the first 75 pages it completely throws me and the pacing off.
Remember when I mentioned his mother and brother? Yeah those people that barely matter and we dont care about because he had one interaction with them and almost broke his moms wrist. Yeah glad there was no build up so when he finds their dead corpses I dont really care. -_-
If we are moving on to more things that are...odd. I dont see why the super special magic sword wasnt either disposed of or taken away after their capture. I'm pretty sure also that "seeing a trail" when smelling isnt a thing in books? That makes sense with video games and movies because you can actually show them tracking. But in the book he blatantly says "I can see this scent trail." Which doesnt make sense and sounds kinda dumb.
(This is also never brought up again.)
Jesus this writer has GOT to stop patting himself/ the protagonist on the back. If you are showing how good someone is then you dont also need to tell us. This is why people are getting annoyed with how "perfect the character is." Sure it can happen some times but with Yuri its ALL the time.
Hes shown killing werewolves, next scene, someone is saying "the boy is killing hundreds of werewolves." Next scene, i am having an innermonologue about how the boy is killing HUNDREDS of Werewolves.
***I seriously didnt plan this, I wrote the last part before I started the next chapter. But literally the next Chapter starts with the Yuri thinking how he just killed Hundreds of Werewolves. smh
Also, he's shown as a great fighter from his (debatable) "training" as he grew up. But that would NOT translate to wielding a sword. And hes apparently fantastic at it -_-.
Ok how did an editor not catch the chapter where Arterus has to carry Yuri because he cant transform and says: ' impatiently' at Yuri "How have you not learned to transform yet?"
But then at the end of the chapter after he has the dream with the godlike thing and can wake up and control himself Arterus says: "Well thats quite the surprise you were able to grasp how to transform so quickly. Quite Extraordinary!"
Are you kidding, you cant go more than 2 minutes without patting your character on the head with how great he is, even if that means contradicting your writing.
So....Kura was introduced. Not a good character so far. She randomly shows up in their bathroom? Is some sort of assassin commander? (Which usually dont go hand in hand but whatever.) She gets really upset about the princess showing up, how she will slow them down and wants to send away two of their guards. Then during the zombie attack she completely freezes up? And the SAME princess who would be a burden has to tell the assassin leader to snap out of it? Not only that but then our perfect protagonist has to tell the magician to lead a path way through. (Im not even done) Kura some how doesnt know her people are dead and even though a horde of zombies are chasing them she doesnt want the magician to seal the way because her troops are still in there? Even though we dont see them, just a ton of zombies? Not only that but then she freaks out on the magician boy for ignoring her orders. Like come on...write a more realistic leader, like there are BAD leaders, and then there are badly WRITTEN leaders like in this book. This was all done in just a couple of pages ffs.
We have no idea why this chick should be in charge, she apparently knows nothing about the people shes leading and how to use their strengths, shes clearly not even prepared to go in to this terrible land? Just throw Yuri in charge since hes so perfect, why make us suffer with Kura.
I read a review where they said they liked Faelen, he's compelling and they felt for his backstory. Where I applaud his use of a unique antagonist, I dont like how he reveals it with a simple exposition to Zylon...
Also if he wants to be a human, why doesnt he just transform back into being a human?
(Spoilers, it actually does go more into his back story later. But I have my own problems with that when you get to it later in this rant, and its like in the last 30 pages, so Im pretty sure its too late to give a fck by then.)
Ok I MUST have missed something. I dont think I did, but maybe. Around page 230 all of a sudden Yuri and his group know EVERYTHING about the antagonist plans. Even though what the Vampire is doing, what Tanya is doing and what Faelen wants were discussed in completely different scenes with different people.
Im assuming it was supposed to happen within Yuris vision, told to him by Malykos (or w/e the titans name was) but all I remember them talking about was whats inside Oblivion and Yuris father....so wtf?
(Side note against criticism in case Im wrong and it was brought up. I still think its dumb just to tell the protagonist everything the bad guys has planned so...)
Why do his Vampires suck out blood "in an instant"? (I put it in quotes to emphasize those were the exact words used in the book) I let it slide with the gnome bc...hes tiny and Im like "sure why not"..but with a whole damn solder who has constantly been described as a large man? Thats kinda ridiculous.
I thought using the word Hemorrhaging was interesting and a unique change of description. But it definitely stuck out by how much he used it. ( He used it to describe the same wound within a page of itself) I just felt he wasnt using it correctly. It began bothering me so much I actually looked it up, and for the most part it seems Hemorrhaging refers to massive internal bleeding. Though Im not a doctor so its debatable. Regardless, now it just seems incorrret and excessive.
Blanched is another word i at first found interesting until it was used too repetitively. He does that with a couple of his "big" words.
You know, one thing I liked and was surprised by was Etaon. Though I was at first annoyed that it and the gnomish people were barely fleshed out before the vampires completely decimated them, but honestly I think I was just glad Yuri didnt just show up at the last second and save everyone. Kura and Senna had decent deaths, better than most. (I mean decent as in the way I felt about them by the point they died and if their death fit their character.)
(Its unfortunate that in hindsight it just further points out that almost NOTHING can be done if Yuri isnt there to do it.)
"Yuri could smell the thick miasma of blood from a mile away, so he wasnt surprised when he...found that all the gnomes had been massacred...The bloodless cadavers of the gnomes were covered in bite marks ...[they] also seem repulsed by the bloodbath as they moved through the bloodstained hallway." You know if it wasnt for the fact he stated 2 possibly 3 times already that they can apparently completely consume a corpse in like a second, this would be far less frustrating. If their bodies were drained WHY is there so much blood everywhere?
I waited until closer to the end of the book until I asked my roommates opinion of this. But the author chooses to do this odd thing with how he writes about people. Like this sentence as an example: "The Werewolf army charged at Yuri, but the lone monster was not worried."
I assume he does this so he doesnt repeat the subjects name, but its just reads weird, and it happens ALOT. Ive never seen anyone else write like that, and maybe if there wasnt a dozen other issues I have with this book and his writing Id let it pass, but it continues to irritate as I read.
He just randomly and unceremoniously name drops the title of the book during a fight, and its just in capital letters too. Im not sure why he wrote it like that, it was weird with no build up.
I really, REALLY like how Yuri got those Oblivion claws just so he could be even MORE over powered and become all cool and edgy with his white hair, then suffer's no consequences for using them.
Why would you even mention something called a "Ghost Bear" thats a normal polar bear(earlier in the story), but then a "Ghost Wolf" is an extremely rare Werewolf enhanced with black magic. Now that I think about it, they said theres only been ONE before, and now its a deity or something...but wasnt Faelen the first werewolf?
I like the magic seed that grows and heals all his wounds. I like the part where the druid is like "He may never wake up" as if it makes sense that our protagonist is going to be completely healed but just unconscious forever -_-
"It would take SOOO much time to get ALL those phoenix hearts and then move ALL those guns back to Reidan."
"Dont worry," says the small child, "I have a magical Mary Poppins bag that solves all our problems!"
The ending time frame is kind of dumb. I suppose the author wanted it to not be so unreasonable that they build so many weapons. But apparently its been 3 months? And everyones just been chillin? And Malyios didnt think to warn Faelen any sooner, until the weapons were also done? Ok.
Wasnt there a silver barricade? What happened to that? It mentioned him getting shot by bullets, shouldn't he have silver wounds EVERYWHERE? But nope, he just killed 500 people with nothing but a couple of bullet wounds as a consequence.
(Spoilers: HAHAHAHA Im actually laughing rereading this with the knowledge that Yuri redeems him and everyone accepts him in the end. Yeah fuck all these people that he just murdered, he helps around the town doing chores for everyone so its all good.)
By the end Im so over the way he writes combat like its a damn Dynasty Warriors game. Peoples lives mean absolutely nothing. "500 warriors were slaughtered in a minutes time." Wow...that sure was compelling. The whole damn book is like this.
I wouldnt say that in Yuri's coma where he tells himself Faelens entire life story so that he sympathizes with him is "Good Stroytelling" Theres a better way to write that. But i like that he realizes its his fault and that he took Faelens one chance away from him.
I am very torn on the part at the end where we go back to Faelens Past. On the one hand I just wanted this damned book to be over and didnt want to go through someones whole back story in whats supposed to be the climax of the book...and yet at the same time I hate how the author is skipping things.
Like there is no actual dialogue, he just basically says:
"Faelen sat down and bothered the lady until she found him charming. And now we know everything about her past. And she invites him to dinner."
He does the same thing with the dinner scene. Its funny because the author actually writes: "Something sparked between them, an unexplainable attraction that made the two want to spend more time together." Yeah its unexplainable because its not set up! The only explanation is, this is the plot, and so it is as I say it is.
Its even more annoying because its EXACTLY how he set up Violet and Yuri >_< And I already hate how their relationship progressed.
(Me again, from the future. I was actually wondering if this would be purposely brought up, like if Yuri would think about how similar it is. But no, the author literally just wasn't creative enough to come up with a different love story. lol)
And Im sorry but WHY was it necessary for it to be written that they "stealthily" had sex while his grandmother was quietly eating her dinner in the other room. Like WTF .
Over all though, I can see why this part makes the so many people praise the book by saying the villain is "compelling" or you can sympathize with him. But it makes me just think, why tf did we get stuck with Yuri then, Faelen sounds way more interesting. Plus its not really compelling when he just generalizes all humans as hating him. And WHY do they even imprison him? Why dont they just kill him? Why did Beo's family have to be charged with just..keeping him alive?
See I think it would be interesting if Beos family at one point was influenced or charged by Malyios, and that's why they keep him alive, so he can suffer.
And so the Oblivion Claws, once wielded, even if its for a second, keeps track of all the memories the person has? Thats weird. And then why did Faelen become so powerful after having the claws for just a minute, but Yuri had no permanent change to his power? Just his edgy white hair.
You know what else I would think would have been interesting is when Falen bites Violet. I was ready for her to either already be a werewolf (since she has purple eyes) or for them to have turned her in lichholme, they already had a huge supply of phoenix heart, so why not?
But nope, shes still just the love interest that infatuated with our perfect protagonist.
So the sacred treasures just "React's differently depending on who uses them"?...cool explanation.
(Seriosuly this item is so stupid and used ridiculously. It has no rules, no set up, just does whatever it wants, giving people different kinds of power, infecting people with a different degree of "possession" showing people memories. Its really dumb.)
He sensed a "flicker" of movement and lashed out and cut violet in the eye. Honestly she deserved it, wtf was she doing anyway? SMH
In case I hadnt complained about it enough. PG 382 is the druid reminding us and Yuri of all the great heroic things he did. Like yeah...we fckn know, we were there. -__- But atleast theres only 20 pages to go.
Aw isnt that so cute, that at the end, when Horux becomes a town of Werewolves that accept him, Faelen finally learns how to revert back as a human...so you know...when its competently pointless.
Oh good, Yuri has been offered the kingship. Because all it takes be a good king is morally good choices? Like...gtfo. And LITERALLY a page later Zylon asks him to continue their adventure to track Junko and he agrees. THATS why you dont make heroes Kings. You're not supposed to just LEAVE. FFS why did the even make him king?
"The Ghost Wolf brushed his white hair from his eyes. "Nonsense. We should all contribute to the preservation of this great world." He grinned. "Im just doing my part."
What a cheesy ass way to end this book. (also there was a sunset) Damn..im so glad to be done with this book.
And we're all caught up, the rest is just more rants after having finished the books and things that I thought of.
WTF HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER IN HELL?! He just ditched his ass.
I feel like everyone compliments how good of an antagonist Faelen was...but you cant just ignore the other two MAIN bad guys that were AWFUL antagonist. The titan is so fckn stupid that Faelen and Yuri were able to just walk into the vault, gain immense power and tell him to fck off and leave. And the titan let it happen to him...TWICE. (Thats why I suggested that the titan be influencing Beos clan to torture Faelen all these years..but nope.) Hes so pointless, and why does he only try to get Faelen and Yuri? Youre telling me he couldn't find anyone else less heroic to come and free him lol.
Junko is just an anime villain that can teleport anywhere, know everything and do whatever he wants. Yet somehow he still fails. We get nothing from him. So NO there are NOT good antagonist in this book.
If you actually read all this...you're welcome because now you dont have to read the book. Or if you have read the book I hope you agree to SOME degree. These issues are so blatant I dont know how people can ignore them.
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